This picture has been floating around for a while, but it is a favorite of a loyal reader of this blog. Thus, I thought I would post it for Friday fun. Here is the 1954 view of the home computer of 2004. They were so close it is scary!

Posted by Douglas Gogerty at 03:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The first years of the Theocratic States of America were fraught with the struggle between good and evil. It was during these years that many threats hidden for centuries came to light. Fortunately, the first Prophet had the Lord on his side to help him weather and defeat these dangers.

The economy nearly collapsed as it had done nearly a decade before. However, with the new work camps in place all over the nation, production of material goods exploded. The financiers of the Prophet's economic plan found God's favor as their own wealth also exploded.

To further help the growth of the new nation's economy the Prophet in his divine wisdom slashed the big burden of the wealthy, namely taxes. The favored, as the wealthy are now called, found more help from the Prophet with his ordaining that the middleclass (the select) become more self-sufficient. Thus, this group would have to pay for their own healthcare and for their own retirement to name two burdens. For those few who were able to transcend the barrier between the select and favored statuses, they were truly on the path of God. There was much rejoicing amongst the Godly people.

However, there were also a lot of lamentations amongst those of the select who now found that they were being punished by the Lord for their sins. These found themselves amongst the poor (called the lost). As the population of the lost grew and many threatened violence, the Prophet again acted in wisdom and speed. He moved the lost into segregated communities away from the favored and select. Many came to be housed in the ruins of the cities they had burned the decade before during the riots of the depression years. These new cities were soon the sites of many work camps and farms. The city security forces were able to monitor the lost with tracking devices implanted deeply inside their skulls.

However, it came to be that not all of the wealthy were the favored. Satan had hidden many of his own servants amongst the righteous. Those who would not come to Christ and follow the path laid down by the Prophet, found themselves stripped of their wealth and given the choice of reeducation, prison, or the work camps. No matter the incentives or proofs given to some of the unenlightened, they refused to acknowledge the living God. The damned is the title that refers to these unfortunate people, for they are beyond the grace of God and must spend the rest of their miserable life in the work camps.

As all this was happening, further seeds planted by Satan throughout the centuries sprouted. Many of the so-called mainstream Christian religions protested and fought for the rights of the select, lost, and even the damned. The Prince of Darkness had surely woven his own designs into these faiths during their foundations.

Once more the Prophet came to the rescue of the faithful. All who called themselves Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, Episcopalian, Protestant, etc. were given the choice again of reeducation, prison, or the work camps. It was further proof of God's happiness. After all, as the work camps grew in number and strength, so did the wealth of the nation and the favored.

These events and the first Prophet's responses are all part of the Great Cleansing that swept the TSA in its early years. As the revelations of Satan's servants and his plans came to the first Prophet's knowledge, Prophet Thom had a vision. The vision revealed the true cunning of Satan, for the source of all the corruption laid amongst the very pages of the Holy Bible. With the hand of God as his guide, the Prophet rewrote the Holy Bible into the Prophetic Bible. No longer were there teachings for helping the select, lost, or damned. Nor were there condemnation of the favored. It had taken over two-thousand years after the death of Christ for the first true teachings to reach the printed page.

If the root of Satan's evil could manifest itself in something as sacred as the Holy Bible it certainly resided elsewhere. Great pyres burned across the land to consume any objectionable literary, artistic or other media works. Such heretical documents like ‘The Constitution of the United States' or ‘Magna Carta' burned in the Holy Flames. Anyone found having in his or her possession any forbidden material would face immediate execution.

The first Prophet also saw the restructuring of the sciences. Many heretical scientific theories, like evolution, were obviously the product of Satan and therefore to follow them further would only lead to damnation. In addition, other sciences are the will of God, particularly those that promoted a strong military.

Alas, like Moses before him Prophet Thom did not live to see the fruition of his toils. An assassin hidden deep amongst the ranks of the favored and a close companion of the Prophet gave Prophet Thom a higher rank, that of Martyr Thom. Historians speculate that the assassin, whose name shall never find its way on the printed page, killed Prophet Thom in order to take over the nation. Fortunately, the faithful amongst the favored dashed the assassin of his dreams and sent him back to Satan.

By the blessing of the Most High, did a second Prophet arise from the order of the favored. Even though Prophet Thom had laid the foundation of the Theocratic States of America there was still much work to do.

The same depression that had gripped the United States of America had also spread across the world. There was not a single nation spared from the economic collapse. It was so immense that nearly every bank across the globe failed. Many nations tried to rise up from the ashes of the old world like the United States did but few succeeded.

Posted by Douglas Gogerty at 05:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Crying. I had a crying client. I hate that. I pushed over a box of tissues, and she stared at them wondering what they were. I thought it best to continue the interview.

"Did it look like someone broke in?" I asked.

"The room service personnel were there. They were cleaning up, so who could tell?" she said with a sob. She grabbed me and cried on my hip because my shoulder was much higher than her eyes.

"There there," I said while patting her on the back in an attempt to reassure her.

"Where?" she asked with a start.

"It's just and old earth expression."

"Oh," she said dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief.

"So, who knew you had this valuable bird?"

"The hotel staff, of course."

"Of course."

"Daniel Butler."

"Ooooh Daniel Butler!"

"Do you know him?"

"No."

"He is the pet broker."

"Ooooh *that* Daniel Butler!"

"So you do know him!"

"No."

"There are some off-world friends," she continued. "The waitress at the bagel place, my neighbors at the hotel, everyone along the route from Daniel's to my place..."

"Perhaps it would be easier to list the people who didn't know," I replied. "Is there anyone here who would want to harm you?"

"Not that I know of," she replied sobbing some more.

"Okay. I want you to go back to your hotel and think hard about it. Could you do that for me? Then, write down anyone you can think of that you think might do this."

"All right," she said opening her bag. "Here is my card. My earth friends call me Maxine."

"Okay Qx... Qx&M@... Maxine," I replied walking her to the door.

I am sure she could find her way out, but it was the polite thing to do. Besides, I needed a few minutes to decide on my course of action. Would I go interview this Daniel Butler? Should I see the hotel staff? Should I go out for a sandwich or order something in?

I sat in my office mulling over these difficult questions, but decided that I should go ahead and get started. I would go out for that sandwich and make my way over to Daniel Butler's place of business. Despite it being next door, it was going to be quite a hike.

I walked out my building door into the winding habitrail tube that led to the main corridor. When it rains methane on your planet, there is no outside. At least, no one goes outside. We travel in tunnels, and because the planets founders did not want the inhabitants to be out of shape, the tunnels twist and turn. Thus, after I grabbed my sandwich, I grabbed the wingtip of a passing flying car to take me to the tunnel that led to Daniel Butler's place.

I guess flying car is a bit of a misnomer. The freight and other fast transports travel along cables above the pedestrian areas. Thus, you have to go fairly high to grab a wingtip. It takes a bit of practice, but sometimes it sure beats walking. Although, one of the downsides is that it is difficult to eat a sandwich on the way.

I dropped in front of the tunnel that led to the business center where Daniel Butler did business. It was very much like the place where my office resided. Okay, it was exactly like it because they were all built at the same time for the same purpose. I rang the bell and entered.

Immediately, I was met by two enormous Maltese blue tits! Their sharp beaks snapping at me. I turned around and ran out of his office, but they followed. Why did I not close the door behind me? Their loud tweets and their flapping wings were right behind me. Suddenly they stopped, but I did not. Why did they stop? I was not going to turn around and find out. My decision was made and it was final. I would interview the hotel staff first.

I shot out of the tunnel and grabbed the first wingtip I could find that was going my way. I easily made my way to the high-rise hotel building. At the tube running into the hotel, I solved my first mystery of the day. The monsters from Malta stopped to consume my sandwich. That was one less mystery to be solved that day.

I entered the hotel and made my way to the staff lounge. That room was easy to find. I just kept entering the doors labeled Employees Only. I asked around and found out that Mlm3$63 ... Mle3$ ... Manny opened the door to Maxine's room.

"So -- er -- Manny," I began. "Did you notice anything unusual when you opened -- um -- Maxine's room this morning?"

"She is a slob," he replied. "Her room is always a mess!"

"Did you find anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not that I recall..."

"Is there any way you could get me a sandwich?"

"No."

"Fine. What can you tell me about her pet?"

"Pet? There are no pets allowed in the hotel."

"So, you have never noticed a bird in the room?"

"Bird? What is a bird?"

"It's an earth creature. Looks like this," I replied crossing my thumbs and flapping my hands in birdlike fashion.

"What?" he replied.

I then showed him a picture that my client supplied. I said, "Does this help?"

"Oh Miss Mable!" Manny replied. "Do you know where she is? I have not seen her in days."

"I thought you said the hotel does not allow pets..."

"Certainly not, but we do allow sentient companions."

"Wait! What? Sentient?"

"Sure, I have had several conversations with that ... bird you say?"

"You have?" I asked. "What language does it speak?"

"It has a series of tweets and chirps. It is whatever language it speaks."

"And you understand her?"

"Certainly," was the reply. "Say, you do not suppose something has happened to her?"

"That is what I'm trying to find out. That is why I was asking you these questions."

"Oh! That makes sense. Let me think. I did notice that her door was slightly ajar when I entered her room."

"Who has a key to her room?"

"Key? What is a key?"

"How do you control who has access?"

"The computer identifies the person and allows or disallows them to open the door."

"So, who has access to the room?"

"The hotel staff, of course."

"Of course."

"Daniel Butler."

"Ooooh Daniel Butler!"

"Do you know him?"

"No."

"He was the previous companion of Mable."

"Ooooh *that* Daniel Butler!"

"So you do know him!"

"No."

"There may be some various others."

"Why would there be so many allowed entry? Come to think of it, why would Daniel Butler have access?"

"He was an expert on Mable. He needed to make sure she was getting along well. Access is so easy to grant."

I thanked Manny, asked again about sandwiches, and decided to schedule an appointment with Daniel Butler after I got myself another sandwich.

Posted by Douglas Gogerty at 07:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I never knew what kind of Pandora's Box was opened with Dwayne's story a few weeks ago. Now I know.

Posted by Douglas Gogerty at 03:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This is an attempt to capture the history of the TSA on paper before it is lost to the annals of time. The author apologizes for any errors and/or poor writing contained within this document. That being said let it be know that all information contain within is for your eyes only and sharing it with those without the proper security clearance will result in immediate capital punishment and eternal damnation.

During the last half of the twenty-first century, the political climate of the country known at the time as the United States of America (USA) had changed radically. For three hundred years, the USA was in a struggle between the believers and the non-believers. One of the founding tenants of the country was the freedom of religion, or the ability for the citizens to practice whatever religion they wanted without persecution from the government. This also included those who chose not to believe in any religion.

Due to this evil practice, the country found itself in a massive economic depression. This depression left one out of four Americans out of work. Food riots were common as a terrible drought followed in the wake of the economic collapse. As whole cities burned under the torches of its disgruntled occupants, anarchy ruled the land. The government was helpless to stem the tide of chaos gripping the country.

When the United States of America faced its greatest internal threat since its civil war in the nineteenth century, it was during this time that a man came forth. This man was a man of God. The true and living God and not the pagan gods worshiped by so many. With the Holy Bible in one hand and rifle in another, the first Prophet rose to power.

The story goes that Prophet Thomas W. Douglas had a vision of Jesus Christ telling him how to reclaim the land in His name. A new promise land of milk and honey, like that in the found in the Old Testament, would arise from the dust of the unrighteous USA.

Prophet Thom, as many affectionately called him, spread his vision amongst the masses. People found what they had been missing in their souls for generations, the word of God. They were feeling the power of His wrath but had little knowledge on how to placate the Lord.

Prophet Thom had the answer. First, he set up networks to help feed those who were hungry. Then he mobilized his own Christian army to protect those communities of believers trying to withstand the storm of chaos and anarchy gripping the nation.

At first, the government was overjoyed to find someone with the ability to calm down the rebelling citizenry. Prophet Thom used his influence to guide the direction the United States government took to restore law and order. New laws arose to help bring peace and prosperity to the land.

Though calm returned to the land, many remained critical of the Prophet. Some cited Prophet Thom's background as a believer in the Prosperity Theology. They claimed he was more for rewarding those with wealth over helping those without it. It is a well-known truth that God wants Christians to be abundantly successful in every way and what better way to prove God's favor than with financial prosperity. Therefore, the obverse must surely be as true.

Others claimed that Prophet Thom's faith in a Christian God and promoting a strict conservative Christian agenda did more to divide America than heal its wounds. However, it was those very same strict conservative Christian views that drew many to the Prophet and helped restore peace and prosperity to the land.

As time passed and Prophet Thom's popularity exploded, many in the United States government began to become concerned. Those who were against the Prophet from the beginning (called "liberals") became frightened at the prospect of losing control. In addition, there were some who welcomed the Prophet's help during the chaotic years before the restoration of peace, but now feared the influence the Prophet had over the populace. These people were agents of Satan and Prophet Thom knew how to deal with them.

With much secrecy and planning, Prophet Thom was able to do something that had never happened in the United States of America before, a bloodless coup. In the years after the chaos that nearly destroyed the nation, the Lord God had placed the faithful in key positions within the government and the military. When the proper time came, the United States of America died one night and the Theocratic States of America came to life the next morning.

The Prophet proved generous to his adversaries after the new nation came to be. They had the choice of reeducation to become valuable members of society or prison for those who stubbornly refused to submit to the will of the Prophet and therefore the Lord. Alternatively, if all else failed they lived out their days in the work camps (the wicked came to call them 'death camps').

Posted by Douglas Gogerty at 05:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It was a dark and stormy night, but not like those puny storms on that planet earth. Oh no! This one was a real ground shaker. Back in the old days, people were afraid of hurricane force winds. Those fragile little babies! They did not have the 600 kph winds of the storms here. Also, there is none of that puny water falling from the sky. "Oh it may be a little acidic," cried the spoiled little children. No sir! We are talking about liquid methane rain here. So it was a balmy 90 K (-297.4 ºF) outside. Those infants would not last two seconds outside -- well neither would I. That is why I am inside.

You would expect a world where rocket fuel rains from the sky to be populated. At least, that is why my grandparents moved here. It was a chance for a better life for them. For me, it is just the place I call home. Most of the people here work in the rocket fuel business. It is a rough life on the fringes of civilization. People come here to refuel, and sometimes they cause trouble. Thus, there are those here to keep the peace, and there are those of us who live in the gaps between chaos and law and order.

My name is Dwayne Thompson. I have lived here all my life. I am a jack of all trades, and yes, master of none. I get by. Like many that live here, I did not choose this as my home. However, it is as good as anywhere, and I make a living as a freelance troubleshooter.

On this particular night, she walked in. She had long legs. They went from the ground all the way up to her chin. That is how these Larsentients are built. Their face is just above their legs with their arms coming out where there should be ears. They have a bit of a body above that with the rest of their anatomy. It is kind of disturbing looking at someones eyes that are where our naughty bits are. Furthermore, if you look at them where our eyes are, you are looking at their naughty bits. They will be all like, "Hey, my eyes are down here!" It is a wonder there has not been a war between our species over this very thing. Oh wait, we have had wars with them. Never mind.

Her name was Qx&M@x%lmmnwz^zppklIN3nnw9RL$#kkngfFF. Those Larsentients have completely unpronounceable names. In fact, it is almost impossible to even spell them. She walked into my office and the first thing she said to me was, "Hey, my eyes are down here!"

"You have recently lost something," I said looking into her baby orange eyes.

"Yes."

"It was very important to you."

"Yes."

"I'm getting an 'M' ... or ... an 'N' perhaps?"

"She's a Maltese Sparrow."

"A Maltese Sparrow? What is that? Is it some sort of jewel encrusted bird coated in an enamel to hide the fact that it is very valuable?"

"No it is my pet."

"You're here to see if the Great Thompsoani can get in touch with it using my incredible psychic powers! Is that it?"

"What? No. I am looking for Dwayne Thompson the Wingtip!"

You see, when they built this world, they did not want to be caught in the epidemic of obesity like earthlings are prone to be. Thus, if you walk out of your front door to visit your neighbor, you will have to walk at least a mile to get there even though the houses share a common wall. Since private detectives visit many places, they hitch rides by grabbing the wings of passing flying machines. Thus, they call those in the private investigation business wingtips.

"Are you sure that you are not looking for a psychic?"

"I am sure."

"My powers are remarkable..."

"I am sure."

"Good! You passed my test," I told her. "I am Dwayne Thompson."

"Test? Were you trying to be Sherlock Holmes or something?"

"Sherlock who?"

"Never mind. Will you find my Maltese Sparrow?"

"You mean those huge carnivorous flying monsters that chased humans off the earth? They haven't discovered space travel have they?"

"What? No! You are thinking of the Maltese Great Blue Tit. My Mable is much smaller."

"Are you telling me that the Maltese Sparrow has discovered space travel? Then it is only a matter of time before these huge man-eaters come after us! We must get ready!"

"Calm down! I bought my little sweetheart from a pet trader. He risks life and limb to obtain species from earth for earthlings and others to have as pets. I am sure these birds do not have the ability to leave earth on their own."

"Okay, but if an enormous Maltese blue tit comes to my door and kills me, I'll blame you and never speak to you again."

"Fair enough. So, are you taking my case?"

"I don't know. I never thought of myself as a pet detective."

"I'll make it worth your while Ace," she said with an alluring look in her eye.

"I bet you will!"

"My eyes are down here," she added.

"1000 credits a day plus expenses," I replied.

"12 credits a day plus a 30 credit per diem."

"Done!" a said victoriously.

"Here is a picture of Mable."

"This is a picture of a bird," I announced.

"Mable is my pet bird," she said in a I want you voice. "She is who you'll be looking for."

"Right. Just testing you again. So, when was the last time you saw her?"

"I left her in my hotel room as I went to the store to purchase food for the needy," she said as her eyes shifted right and left. "And, my eyes are down here."

"Go on," I urged, but not believing her story.

"This was Twosday."

"Today?"

"No..."

"Tuesday?"

"Do you know how the galactic calendar works?"

"Of course!" I insisted.

"Onesday, Twosday, Threesday..."

"Wednesday? Tuesday? Thursday? What are you talking about?"

"It was one day ago."

"Yesterday?"

"All my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in..."

"Yesterday?"

"Why'd she have to go? I don't know,"

"She wouldn't say? You said something wrong and now you long for..."

"Yesterday, after I dropped the food off at the local food shelf. I stopped for a sesame bagel and a schmeer. I saved some of the seeds for Mable, but when I returned to my room..." she said and began to cry.

Posted by Douglas Gogerty at 06:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

With the election over, the down hill run of our most beloved president has begun. What are people like Roy Zimmerman going to do? Here is video/song relating to GWB's foreign policy and keeping up with the spirit of Dwayne's last story.

Posted by Douglas Gogerty at 03:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)